Social
Butterfly: A Mesmerizing façade
Dr. Ram Sharma , Dr. Archana Durgesh
& Dr. Pooja Singh
Abstract: The term
‘social butterfly’ as the dictionary defines is as, ‘someone who is a very
social and easygoing; it can be either a male or a female.’ Usually these
people don’t belong to a particular group, but rather jump from one group to
another. They are somewhat accepted in all of them, but don’t really have any
deep friendship connections in any of them. A butterfly in action,
will busily work a garden, flitting from flower to flower to glean a little
nectar before moving on. Just as the actual butterfly enhances the lives of
flowers, the social butterfly tends to be an asset at parties. These social butterflies can even be psychopaths; even their
ability to mask an internal ascetic personality structure
is uncanny.
Keywords: social butterfly, extrovert, introvert,
psychopaths.
The term ‘social
butterfly’ as the dictionary defines is as, ‘someone who is a very social and
easygoing; it can be either a male or a female.’ Usually these people don’t
belong to a particular group, but rather jump from one group to another. They
are somewhat accepted in all of them, but don’t really have any deep friendship
connections in any of them. ‘It's a word/title that is usually used to describe
someone that is popular.’ Often times those people are friendly or pretty, but
it is not always the case. It is not always used to describe popularity alone;
it could also be describing someone who is friendly to strangers. Typically a
word used to describe females; ‘someone who pretends to be more social than
they actually are via the internet.’ Someone who befriends someone but then
runs off as soon as someone cooler comes along.
A butterfly in action, will busily
work a garden, flitting from flower to flower to glean a little nectar before
moving on. She is no doubt a beautiful creature as - John Keats said in, Endymion,
‘A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass
into nothingness. The action of the butterfly is beautiful and purposeful, even
though such food is necessary for survival. Yet the light passage from standing
flowers and the frequently colorful wings of the insect has inspired the term
social butterfly.
It’s challenging to pin down the origin of
this term, since etymologists are still arguing over the origin of the word
butterfly. It appears that the term, social butterfly, may at first have been
used in derogatory fashion to describe young women who dated many different
men. They could be contrasted to their opposites, wallflowers, who sat
stationary, waiting to be asked on dates, or especially at dances, waiting to
be asked to dance.
Gradually, the term became descriptive, and
is mostly applied to females, who are extroverted, comfortable in social
situations, can talk to just about anyone, and who seem to have a certain grace
and ease at parties. Social butterflies in a party setting could move from
group to group, briefly sipping in the nectar of each engagement and sharing a
few pleasant words with partygoers. Their social adeptness makes it simple for
them to be quite at home in large group settings.
Just as the actual butterfly enhances the
lives of flowers, the social butterfly tends to be an asset at parties. She can
start conversations, praise the looks of the other guests, and keep the party
atmosphere more interesting. It would be more difficult to throw a party with
no extroverted guests, since most introverted guests need a little
encouragement to move about a room, engage in conversation and keep a party
lively. A combination of extroverts and introverts tend to balance social
engagements more appropriately.
Some people seem to be innately
extroverted, and there are now various personality tests which can tell whether
one tends to be more outgoing or less. Generally, people already know whether
they fit social butterfly standards if they had opportunities to take part in
social engagements. Does one likes to walk about the room talking with various
guests, or would prefer one deep conversation with a kindred spirit? If the answer
is yes to the former, then probably the one in question is the extroverted
social butterfly type.
The term can sometimes be misapplied to
people who are obnoxiously social, overbearing, loud, and who make rude comments.
They may stomp from guest to guest vociferously voicing their opinions; they
don’t flit and they don’t have a light touch and innate social grace. These are
not true social butterflies because they detract from a social scene rather
than enhance it.
There are 8 different types of social butterflies:
§
The
Playette: This girl enjoys being the center of attention. She’s not intimate
with many guys, but she likes having playing the field and being pursued. When
the Playette is in a relationship she is extremely loyal.
§
The
Hopeless Romantic: This girl grew up dreaming about finding Mr. Right. She’s
not the type to sleep around, but will wait till she finds the guy of her
dreams. The funny thing is the Hopeless Romantic will often settle for any man
who shows potential. So one doesn’t have to be the perfect guy. Instead can
just have to fill some of the things she wants in a man.
§
The
Seductress: Of all the 8 different types of women, the Seductress is the most
sexual. She is an “alpha female” who aggressively pursues the things she wants
in life. This means she’ll often do the pursuing when it comes to a sexual
relationship.
§
The
Connoisseur: This girl is the bane of the entire so-called pick up artists.
She’s very selective about who she dates and doesn’t fall for the standard
routines that most guys use. The connoisseur is loyal to the men she dates, but
one has to dedicate a lot of effort to make her interested.
§
The
Modern Woman: This is a woman who dates around. But she’s not the type to sleep
with just any guy. She will be fiercely loyal to one guy, but will take time to
find him. Many men consider “The Modern Woman” to be the perfect type of
girlfriend.
§
The
Social Butterfly: This girl is someone who dates around and is intimate with
the men in her life. She enjoys life…and she’s not worried about settling down.
For now, the Social Butterfly is happy meeting guys and enjoying life.
§
The
Cinderella: This is woman who loves to fall in love. While she becomes intimate
with guys pretty quickly, she’s still looking out for the right guy. The
problem is that one has to keep her attention and make sure you’re the “one”
for her. Otherwise, she might move to the next “perfect guy.” Often it can be
seen that the Cinderella in a string of short to long-term relationships.
§ The Private Dancer: This girl is similar to
the Playette. She is desired by a number of men. In addition, she is also
similar to the Connoisseur because she’s selective about who she dates. The
only guys she will have sex with is someone who matches her level of social
status.
These social butterflies can even be psychopaths; even their
ability to mask an internal ascetic personality structure
is uncanny. Externally, psychopaths create a façade of desirability and
exemplify many positive character traits. Sometimes to describe our best
friend, we use the terms:
ü Charming
ü Friendly
ü Intelligent
ü Sane
ü Sincere
ü Nerves of steel
ü Adventurous
ü Intrepid
Ironically, psychopaths possess many of these traits which
allow them to be a perfect mimic of a normally functioning person. Hervey
Cleckley, M.D., published a book in 1941, The Mask of Sanity, in
which psychopathy was forever immortalized. Dr. Cleckley described the
psychopathic person as outwardly disguising their fundamental lack of internal
personality structure. Their innate shallowness results in repeatedly
purposeful destructive behaviors that is most often self-destructive. In his
conceptualization, the psychopathic person does not have the ability to
experience genuine emotions, despite the seemingly sincere, intelligent, even
charming external presentation. They are sometimes successful, accomplished,
and good looking. Many people were attracted to them and they are reportedly
possessed of many of the popular traits listed above. In addition, however,
they hold many of the following attributes that define psychopathy.
ü Cold-hearted
ü Egocentric
ü Manipulative
ü Untruthful
ü Unresponsive in interpersonal
relations
ü Hedonistic
Most psychopaths are not criminals, however, and can
therefore go widely undetected and even advance to power positions. Jon Ronson
authored a provocative book called The Psychopath Test, in which he
argued that corporate leaders can, in fact, be psychopaths. A crucial issue
regarding the concept of psychopathy is whether it identifies a distinct
condition that can be separated from other conditions and 'normal' personality
types, or whether it is simply a combination of various personality dimensions
found throughout the population in varying combinations.
The bottom line is that
psychopaths can be dangerous. Their most serious damage to others is often
through their callous disregard that eventually creeps into their day-to-day
relationships. Whereas some psychopaths are criminals, most inflict harm by
causing concern from others that is met by frustrating and futile efforts to
help. The butterfly is colorful, beautiful, mesmerizing; it’s inevitable not to
run after it but few species are dangerous, poisonous and lethal Judge nothing
by the appearance as William Scott Downey, in Proverbs said ‘The more beautiful the serpent,
the more fatal its sting.’ -. There is a mild difference in beauty – virtuous
and visual; all that glitters is not gold.
Works cited and referred:
No comments:
Post a Comment